Conversations With My Daughter
by ImaTVJunkie
Summary: Booth has a newborn daughter. He spends his time with her, talking to her, giving her advice and telling her stories, just like the good Daddy we know he is would. Storyline begins on Christine's birth day. sometimes I just need to write fluffy stuff.
1. Chapter 1

"Hi! Hi there! Remember me? I'm your Dad. Daddy. My name is Seeley. You'll probably hear Mommy calling me Booth all the time. But you can call me Daddy. OK?"

Booth had crept into the nursery to check why Christine was fussing. He had been lying in the dark, wide awake after Brennan had finished feeding her and put her down. It had been a really big day. Christine was, at this moment eleven hours old. Brennan was exhausted. She had been so strong during the birth, so brave. But it had taken it's toll and she was fast asleep right now. Booth turned down the volume on the baby monitor so that Brennan was not disturbed.

"Are you warm enough? You look warm. What's wrong? Shhhh, Mommy's so tired. I know you aren't hungry, you only just got fed an hour ago. So. What? What baby? Let me see."

He picked her up and put her on the change table and started removing her onesie, guessing she probably had a wet diaper.

"Let me just pop you on here. OK. So how many buttons does this thing have? Right. One little leg. Two little legs. So cute. Who's got cute toes. Who's got cute toes? Christine does!"

He suddenly pulled his face back from kissing his daughters toes, a horrified expression on his face.

_What's going on? What's that smell?_ " Hell, what is that? Oh my God. This is just. Ergh. Um. I don't. Uh. What is that stuff? It's black! Jeez. Christine!"

_Come on Booth. Toughen up man. This is your newborn daughter. You know about this stuff. Bones was talking about it the other day when she was giving you the lecture about newborns. It's that Macaroni, Mercurium? uh, that black poop stuff._ "Ugh. Christine. This is. Oh Crap!" _heh heh heh funny, it really is crap._ "Don't tell your Mommy I said crap. OK. I need those wet wipey things." Booth kept one hand firmly on his daughter's body, and started looking around "Uhhh, OK. OK. Here they are. Now, wait. I think I need more than one for this." He pulled eight or nine wet wipes from the container.

"Aww Christine. Why me? OK. We can get this cleaned up baby. Maybe I should bath you? Nah, it's three am. I think you'll be OK. Let me just roll you this. AHH! Christine!" Booth was greeted with the black sticky meconium half way up Christine's back. "It's. Oh God. It's all up your back! What do I do? What should I do! OK. Come on. I know it's late. But this is just too much. We gotta have a bath. Shhh. We don't want to wake up Mommy."

Booth wrapped Christine up in a baby blanket and carried her into the bathroom. He held her firmly against his chest with one arm, his hand wrapped around her head, supporting her, and with the other hand, lifted the baby bath into the big bath and turned on the tap, adjusting the temperature. He put only enough water in it to wash off her back and bottom. He sat on the toilet lid and lay her on her back on his lap and unwrapped her, quickly stripping off the already half removed onsesie. " Now miss. Let me peel this off you. Man! It's stuck everywhere. How did something so small produce all of this?" he said, his face screwed up. Pulling the tiny baby singlet over her head, he stood up, letting the now soiled blanket fall to the floor. He kicked it to one side and knelt down on the floor, grunting as his knees hit the hard tiles, and gently lowered her into the water.

Christine shivered and her little voice mewled like a distressed kitten.

"Oh baby. It's OK. You're so little. God. Here we go. Yeah. That feels OK doesn't it? Nice? Not too hot. Not too cold. Just right! I'll have to tell you that story one day. But not now. OK. So. If I just hold you like this. Errk. I hope this is the last time you do this. I'm not sure if I could handle this again. Damn! I should have taken photo's to show Mommy. Never mind. Oh. Oh no. Don't cry baby girl. There we go. Look, all the nasty sticky black tar poop is gone." he kept talking to her, soothing her as he washed the mess from her tiny new born body. Her little arms and legs were rigidly held away from her body, shuddering as he rinsed her off and lifted her, so gently, out of the water and lay her onto a clean towel.

"Aww, this towel is so nice and soft. Let me just wrap you up. There we go. Come on, back to your room. " Booth carried his daughter, snug in a thick towel back to the nursery and closed the door. He rummaged through the drawers looking for clean pj's for her. He found a pink grow suit, and a yellow singlet. He stared at them, but decided any clothes were better than no clothes and set about drying and dressing his daughter.

"Wow. Getting these things off was so much easier than getting them on!" he said, scared that he was going to hurt her little arms or legs as he dressed her. He buttoned up the last button and picked her up, holding her up to his face and kissed her tiny squashed face. "You are the most beautiful, precious thing in the world." he whispered. He was going to put her into her bassinette, but then decided against it and walked to the corner of the room and sat in the old rocking chair he and Brennan had bought.

"So now that we're all clean, and dry. How about we get to know each other. Do you remember me? I was the one with the big hands when you first opened your eyes. And you peed on me, so I figured you knew I was your Daddy" he smiled down at her. "You scared us, coming so quickly like that. And I'm sorry that we weren't in a nice clean hospital, but you seem OK. Right? Mommy seemed pretty sure you were fine. And the doctors at the hospital didn't seem to be too worried about you. After all, they let us come home straight away." He lifted her higher up his chest and bent his head to kiss her forehead, cuddling her against his chest.

"You certainly smell better than you did half an hour ago" he said smiling down at her and noticed her mouth, which was opening and closing. He gently rubbed his finger over her bottom lip and Christine immediately started sucking on his finger. Booth smiled as her little tongue tapped against the pad of his finger, but then thought, that can't be clean. He looked around and spied a pacifier on the chest of drawers next to the chair. He pulled his finger from her mouth and reached over, grabbed it and pulled off the cover and held it in front of her. "Is this what you want?" he waited for her to open her mouth so he could pop it in. But of course she just kept making little sucking noises, her rosebud lips pursing.

Booth frowned and held the pacifier a little closer, gently touching her lips with it. At the touch of it, she sucked it straight into her mouth and started suckling on it, her mewling quietening. Her eyes were wide open, staring straight up at him as the pacifier bounced up and down, covering almost the entire bottom half of her face. "Are your eyes brown? Or dark blue?" he asked her, squinting, trying to tell. "I wonder what colour hair you will have?" he whispered, stroking her little head, feeling the brown, silky down that covered it at the moment. "I hope you look like your Mommy, but. And don't ever tell her this. I hope you have my sense of humour." he smiled.

"So what can I tell you? I'm a pretty good guy. I work for something called the FBI. Mommy is really smart. She's a squinty type person. That means she works in a lab and squints at stuff. We work together. We're partners. So I get to see her every day at work and at home. But I guess that will change now you're here. She'll probably want to stay home with you for a while. And that's OK. We just moved into our house. I hope you like your room." he said looking around. "You have a big brother! His name is Parker. But he doesn't live with us. He lives with his mother. Oh yeah. He has a different Mommy. Uh. How do I explain that? Well, never mind about that. It's not important. You have a brother, that'll do for now. You also have a great grandfather, called Pops, and a grandfather who is Mommy's Dad. It's confusing, but you'll get to know them all as time goes on. What I do know is, they are all gonna love you so much!"

Christine turned and buried her face against his chest and he swore he felt his heart burst. He lifted her close to his face and whispered to her "I swear on the holy bible, on my life, and your mothers heart that I will love and protect and care for you for the rest of my life, my baby girl." his voice broke and he felt tears come, pricking at his eyes, rolling down his face as he snuggled Christine into the crook of his neck.

After a few minutes, he calmed and took a deep breath and gently lifted her away from his body. Her eyes were closed, the pacifier was hanging loosely from her mouth and she was breathing steadily. He stood up slowly, and tiptoed to her bassinette and carefully lowered her into it. Laying her down as it she was the most precious jewel, which she actually was, and covered her up. Tucking her in, not too tightly, as Brennan had shown him when they first put her down. He kissed his fingers and brushed his hand across her cheek. "So. Good talk! Night night, baby. Sleep tight." he whispered and turned, reluctant to leave her. He knew he needed to sleep, finally conceding that the day had caught up with him. He turned up the volume on the baby monitor as he left the room, leaving the night light on.

Booth crept into his bedroom and snuck under the covers, carefully pulling them up over himself as he settled onto his side, a weary smile plastered on his face. Brennan turned towards him and murmured, half asleep, "was that Christine?"

"She's fine. Just fine. She's perfect" he whispered, closing his eyes and letting himself slip off to sleep and dream about the best day of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

"Morning baby doll. How's Daddy's girl this morning. How are you? Good?" Christine's, soft mewling was, to Booth a positive reply. "Yeah. That's my girl" he said as he lifted his daughter up and kissed her nose, her forehead, her cheek, her lips.

"Ooh, you feel heavy!" he patted the back of her nappy which was swollen. "Have you got Lake Michigan in here?" he said laying her on the change table. "I see Mommy fixed your clothes. Apparently the buttons go at the back" Booth grimaced at Christine. "and I had you in a day suit, not a sleep suit." his eyebrows raised as he unbuttoned the pale green sleepsuit that Brennan had changed her into during the early morning hours when she had gotten up to feed Christine.

"But we were OK, weren't we? Yes we were. We don't care if we wear our clothes to bed, do we? No. Daddy does it all the time. Yeah, he does." he winked at his daughter who was lying on her back, her little arms jerking in his general direction.

"I still can't believe you're here." he said dropping his face to her tummy and kissing her over and over. "You're even more beautiful this morning than I remembered." he said, running his fingertips across her forehead. "OK. I need to change this and take you in to Mommy" Booth stared at the diaper, frowning. "Huh. Apparently I had your diaper on back to front too. I'm sure this picture wasn't on the front of the other one. Oh well. I expect Mommy will give me a lecture about that as well. Never mind. It was our first time wasn't it? You survived, right? Sure you did." Booth peeled the tabs off and pulled the front of her diaper down, peeking over the edge, hoping that he wasn't going to have a repeat of last night. He let go a sigh when he saw it was simply wet. He slipped it out from under her tiny bottom and dropped it on the floor "I'll get that later" he mumbled as if Brennan was watching him, and pulled a handful of wet wipes out of the container and wiped her carefully, just as Brennan had instructed. He stood back and admired his handiwork as she pulled her legs up towards her tummy, curling up as if she was still in the womb.

He picked up the baby powder container and sniffed at it. "aaaaCHOO! A-CHOOO! AHHHHHHH. Oh Boy CHOOO!" he sneezed several times in a row, frowned at the powder and leaned backwards, turning his head as he sparingly sprinkled the white powder over her, then slipped a clean diaper under her and pulled it up between her legs. "Wait. Dammit I did it again!" He pulled it out from under her, turned it around and lifting her gently by her feet slipped it under her again, sticking the tabs down realising that it actually did fit her better this way, and grinned as he admired his handiwork.

"There. All clean" he said, as he redressed Christine. You know, I never got to do this with your big brother. Like I told you last night, he lives with his Mommy. I now know I missed out on so much. It was hard back then." Booth sighed and picked up his daughter and stood cradling her against him.

"His mother, Rebecca, that's her name, decided that she didn't want to be with me. It was a major kick in the guts, I can tell you. Like, that was my baby she was carrying. I wanted to be part of his life. I wanted to be part of hers. But she just." Booth stood staring at the picture on the shelving near the crib that she would eventually sleep in. "Anyway, I didn't get to even be there when he was born. I never got to feed him a bottle, change his diapers, or smell that new born smell, or change those revolting black poop nappies" he smiled kissing her head, inhaling her scent. "You do smell nice. Kind of milky and powdery. It's nice."

He was subconsciously swaying from side to side "I really didn't have much to do with Parker until he was well over a year old. Between work and Rebecca always coming up with excuses about me not being ready to look after a toddler on my own. But really, I could have tried harder. We both could have. It was just difficult, you know? There were feelings. Good ones, but more bad ones. But I've made up for it as best I can. I would have Parker come and stay for a weekend once a month. It was never enough though. I love him, and he loves me, but sometimes, it just doesn't feel like I've done enough.

And lately it hasn't been easy. They've moved away. I haven't seen Parker in months. I miss him Christine. He's my son. Your brother. But I still don't really have much say in anything. And I suppose I just go along with Rebecca to keep the peace." he said staring down at Christine who's solemn expression made him smile.

"I like talking to you. You're a really good listener." he said. "And you're right. I'm going to call Rebecca. Parker needs to come and meet his sister. And not when you're a year old either. I have to talk to your mother about this today."

Booth held Christine so that she was facing away from him. "So, what do you think of your room? I painted it myself" he said, proudly. "Mommy chose the colour. Not too stimulating, but not so calm as to stunt your curiosity in your surroundings. I just call it yellow." he said smooching the back of her head as he talked. He walked her over to the window, parting the peach curtains so they could look out the window. "Looks like a nice day. I might see if Mommy wants to sit out on the deck today for a bit. She's a bit sore and tired. Yesterday was a really big day. With you arriving and all. I think a nurse is coming to check on you both today too. Just to make sure you're both doing OK."

He turned and walked across the room, his toes curling into the fluffy rug on the floor as he walked her around the room showing her little things like the photo of him and Bones, and the assortment of teddy bears that they had received as gifts. He turned her back towards him and looked into her face. " I guess I should take you in to Mommy. She's lying in bed waiting for you. I'm going to make breakfast for her. So I guess, I'm actually making breakfast for you too, right? How do you like your eggs?" he joked snuggling Christine up to his neck, his elbow pressed against her bottom and his hand cradling her little head. "You're pretty floppy aren't you?" he said careful to support her as he bent down and picked up the dirty nappy. He pressed a toe on the pedal on the bin and dropped the wet diaper into the sterile liner that helped kill the odour. "I know Mommy was all bent out of shape about using these Pampers, but you're so little, I think those cloth diapers will be too big for you right now. Plus, I'm not sure I could use those. I'm only just working out the disposable ones." He dropped another series of kisses on her cheek and ear. "We can save the planet when you're a bit bigger" he whispered into her ear.

Christine made a tiny gurgling sound that he took as her agreement with him. He walked to the bedroom carrying her and grinned as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He and Brennan stared at each other over her head, their eyes locked, the love for each other not needing any words. Booth lay her in Brennan's arms and sat back, watching her release a breast and lift their daughter up to it. Booth grinned stupidly as Christine's mouth latched firmly onto Brennan's nipple and began sucking hard, making odd little gulping noises. He could have sat there all day watching that miracle, but there were things to do.

He laughed "She sounds like me when I drink a beer!" Brennan shook her head, smiling down at their daughter. Booth dropped a kiss on Brennan's head and stood up, slipping his feet into his slippers that were lying by the bed. Then turned and headed towards the door. "Christine told me she wants her eggs sunny side up, so I'll go make breakfast for you now." he said as he left the loves of his life in the bedroom. He could hear Bone's laughing.

"Now I'm a hot daddy, check it and see. We've got a baby, now I want two or three" he sang as he skipped down the staircase.

He stood at the kitchen bench and looked out the window at the day. The sun was shining, the grass was glistening with the early morning dew and a soft breeze was gently stirring the trees.

Booth grinned and started making breakfast for his girls.

_My girls. yeah, I like the sound of that_


	3. Chapter 3

Eight weeks since Christine was born, and Booth had settled into night duty like it was second nature. Hell, he didn't sleep well anyway. Between his back and knees and feet taking it in turns waking him up with pain that wavered between dull and screaming, he figured if he was awake, he might as well be up. Plus, if he didn't, he felt like he wasn't getting as much one on one time with his daughter as her mother was. And spending time with her was a priority for him. He needed to. He wanted her to know that he was her daddy and that he loved her and would be there for her.

So, on cue, Christine began her 2 am call, and Booth, who was already lying awake waiting, flew out of bed to run, or to be honest limped to her the minute her cries filtered through the baby monitor.

"Shh shhh baby. Dada's here. I'm here. What's wrong? Hey? Come here." He lifted her from her bassinette and snuggled her into his chest, gently bouncing her up and down. He grabbed a baby blanket and draped it around her back and tucked it around her body and carried her downstairs. "Boy oh boy Dada knees are giving him some hell tonight baby." He whispered to her as her crying waned, her blue eyes wide open, lashes wet, a sprinkle of tears on her cheek. Her lips pursed, cheeks and nose red from crying. Booth smiled and pressed a kiss to her face, tasting her salty tears and smiled at her. "So much noise from a tiny girl. You knew I'd come, right? Yeah. You knew." He grinned as she gave him a gummy smile and a squeal of joy, her chubby hand reaching up for his nose.

He opened the fridge, the creamy light spilling out over them, illuminating their faces. Booth pulled a bottle full of expressed milk from the refrigerator and closed the door. He grabbed the bottle warmer, plugged it in and popped the bottle in it and switched it on. Christine was still wavering between smiling and whimpering, but she gradually settled as he held her close to his body.

"So. How was your day? Are you liking it at day care? Are the ladies nice. Have you met any nice baby friends? No boys I hope." Booth said, quite seriously. "Cos boys are something we will have to have a chat about one day." He walked around the kitchen, jigging her up and down against his chest without consciously being aware of it. "I'll have to tell you about my day. It was a doozy!"

Brennan had returned to work two weeks earlier. She wasn't really cut out for stay at home motherhood, although Booth would have liked that, he knew that it was always going to be Bones' choice, and she knew that he would support her one hundred percent. But at the same time, she felt like she wasn't doing the right thing for Christine. Booth had assured her that she had to make that decision herself, but to know that whatever she decided, he would be there to support her.

Christine was rubbing her face backwards and forwards against Booth's chest searching for something to latch on to. He lifted her and looked into her face "Hungry baby? Won't be lo" The timer on the bottle heater chimed. "And there we are! Come on, Let's sit down here in the living room and I'll feed you" he said walking over to the couch and sitting down, Christine starting to fuss and cry again.

"Woah" he said "You have to say horse when Dada says that. Now. Just let me get you set up here." Booth lay her in his left arm, his hand wrapped around her thigh and tilted the bottle so that the teat brushed against her lips, warm milk releasing and spilling onto her chin. Her mouth opened and latched around the teat and she began sucking, making a soft contented humming sound. Booth smiled and watched her drinking. Her eyes were wide open, staring up at him. He used a finger to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. Her hair had grown a little. The brown wispy thatch that she had when she was born had gradually rubbed away and in its place was very fine, baby soft blonde down, almost invisible to the eye.

"So tell me, in between gulps. Do you have any idea what was wrong with your mother this morning? She was going on at me about what to wear. And showing me all these clothes. And asking me what she should put on? How do I know? I mean, I think she looks amazing in everything." Booth shook his head. "Women. Or should I say women eight weeks post birth. I didn't know what to say to her. She just waved things in my face and got so mad at me when I made a decision. I didn't understand! Did she not want my opinion? Or was she just looking for a fight? I thought I was about to walk into an aeroplane propeller! I seriously had to back away from that conversation. And then I was told I was no help? Honestly, sometimes, I just don't feel safe speaking."

Booth watched the level on the milk get low down into the teat and popped it out of her mouth before she sucked in any air. Gently sitting her up on his lap, he supported her chin in his hand, his large fingers and thumb holding her cheeks and started rubbing at her back firmly as he continued his conversation with her. "I know your mother is a very intelligent woman. Usually. But lately she just seems to flit from one weird mood to another. Maybe it's hormones. It has to be hormones, right? I tried to suggest that and let's just say it was a good thing we weren't in the kitchen near the knife block, or you know" Booth whistled two notes rocking his head from side to side. "Daddy might not have been making any brothers or sisters for you in the future." he laughed.

"Anyway, we were at work, and somehow, I, stupidly. God knows I must have had a brain fart. I asked Aunty Cam to, you know, tell your Mommy that she looked nice." Christine burped and spat up a small amount of milk that ran over the back of Booth's hand. He smiled "Don't I know it. Stupid huh? And of course, Uncle Jack was there, and I just knew he knew what was going on." Christine burped again and gurgled, blowing milky bubbles. "Right. Cos you know, he's been through it with Aunty Angela, but of course he didn't think to give me a heads up and warn me. So there we were, standing over a blue corpse, which was really weird by the way, and I'm nodding at Aunty Cam to tell Mommy she looks lovely. I swear, if your Mommy's eyes were daggers, I'd be full of holes right now. So, basically I dug myself even further into the mud. And then. Then I tried to save myself, by telling her that she looked great in the blue jumpsuit." Another burp, and another mouthful of frothy milk spilled over booths hand. "Exactly. You always know what I mean, don't you?" he said calmly lying her back in his arm wiping his hand on the blanket under her. _Damn, I forgot the bib_ He sighed, grabbing the edge of the baby blanket and wiping her chin clean of milk.

"Shhh. Don't tell Mommy I forgot to use a bib. We don't want to give her any more ammo." he grinned at Christine who smiled back at him, a big open mouthed grin. She gurgled in a high pitched voice and winked one eye. "You DO know how to wink. I told your Mommy you did! You're a clever little girl aren't you? Yes you are." he said tickling her chin with the corner of the blanket.

"So tonight, while we were having dinner. I surprised her." Booth winked at his daughter as she gurgled and blew bubbles, her hands reaching up for his face, which he kindly lowered so she could grab his bottom lip. "Today, while I was out working, I went to a shop. Unfortunately, I had Sweets with me. You'd think I would learn and not go anywhere for personal business with that idiot. Anyway, I bought Mommy some sexy lingerie. That's underwear that boys like. Um, scratch that. It's underwear that Mommy's like, and Daddy's pay for. And like, probably more that Mommy does. Anyway, I wanted her to know that I thought she was beautiful, even if she didn't feel that way. I get that she's a different size and shape right now. But gee, she just had you like two months ago! And, you know, she was pretty, how do I put this. Puffy? See Mommy had problems with fluid and she got pretty, bloated, shall we say. Not that I cared. And I just wanted to give her something to make her see herself as desirable, the way I see her ."

Christine squealed a little bit and Booth grinned and lifted her up onto his shoulder, kissing her chubby cheek. She had grown a lot in two months and her head was not so floppy any more. Booth stood up and carried her and the empty bottle into the kitchen, he dropped it into the sink and walked out of the kitchen, flicking off the light as he left. "I didn't quite get the reaction I was expecting though. She liked it, but I think she thought that I wasn't happy with the way she looked. Like, I was disappointed or something. Not once have I ever said anything to give her that impression. She's beautiful. Gorgeous. I love every inch of her Christine. Anyway, you know Mommy, I got a talk about how women's bodies take a while to recover from childbirth. And how every woman's body is different. Like, I don't care about other women's bodies. And I told her, I really only want her body. Which probably wasn't the right thing to say either, but how do you tell the woman you love, that it doesn't matter how fat or skinny or tall or flabby or whatever, she is, that you love her. Her. Sometimes, I don't think Mommy had actually believed that she is loved for who she is, and not just how she looks, until she met me. And particularly at the moment, she's struggling with it all."

He entered the nursery and quickly changed Christine's nappy. "I'm pretty good at this now, hey?" he grinned at his daughter. He held her up at eye level. "And while I'm at it. I need to have words with you Miss. Your timing is terrible. Do you have a secret radar thing happening? Did you know Mommy and I were going upstairs to test out her lingerie? You decided that you needed to be fed, right at that moment. We seriously need to work on that, OK?"

Booth sat down in the rocking chair and cuddled Christine to his chest and began rocking backwards and forwards. It was something they did before he put her back to bed. He loved the smell of her, the warmth of her little body. He loved the sound of her snuffling and gurgling against his chest. He slipped the pacifier into her mouth and she immediately began making that odd little _goya goya _sound that he adored as she sucked on it.

He didn't talk any more, he just sat, rocking his daughter gently until she stopped squirming and fidgeting and slowly closed her eyes and dropped back to sleep. He really wasn't looking forwards to the nights when she began sleeping through. For now though, these were the times when he and his daughter had their most private conversations. These moments were the most precious ones to him.


	4. Chapter 4

Booth carried Christine downstairs and sat on the sofa, perching her on his lap.

"Mommy won't be long. She's gone to take a shower and then, you and me? We're going to church baby" he cooed to his daughter. Christine was dressed in a pale pink dress with a white jacket. A traditional christening gown would have been asking too much of Brennan. Plus, christening his daughter was something he felt necessary. Not only in light of what they had been going through. He just felt it was right. Bones had not fought him on it, but didn't feel it was right for her to go. He just wanted to say goodbye to her before they left. Max was going to bring her to meet them afterwards and they were going to go to dinner, the four of them. Unless Max decided to bring along one of his random lady friends. Booth rolled his eyes.

He grabbed Christine's little foot, encased in a soft pink silk slipper "See your new shoes? Pretty aren't they?" he stared at her foot, so tiny in his hand. Booth swallowed hard and looked at his daughter's face.

"You know. The reason you've been spending so much time with Grandpa Max isn't because we don't want to be with you. It's just that. We. Mommy and me. We're caught up in some nasty stuff. And we want to make sure you are safe, see? And Grandpa Max isn't such a bad guy. Well he was bad. Kinda. But he's good now. Well, he swears he is and I have to believe that for Mommy's sake. But" Booth shook his head "I'm getting off the point. The point is. We love you. And we just want to make sure that nothing happens to you. So that's why you've been with Grandpa so much lately."

Christine smiled up at her father, one hand reaching for his nose, as she always did when they sat and had their little conversations. He obligingly leaned close, her chubby fingers wrapping around it firmly. He grinned at her toothless smile. _God you have your mommy's eyes_ he thought silently.

"So. About today. I'm taking you to church. Now, it's a really big building. And it might smell funny. At least that's what your mommy says about churches. That they smell funny. But it's just the smell of the candles burning. And maybe old Nun smell." Memories of Sister Patrick jumped into his head, smelling of old cheese, socks and sardines "But that's nothing to worry about. I'll be there with you. We're going to talk to an old man. He's the priest. I'll probably call him Father. But he's not my father. Not like I'm your father. He's called that because he's. Look. I'm gonna call him Father. That's just what we call him when we go to church." Booth pulled his nose from Christine's grip as she was making it difficult for him to breath and talk without sounding like a weird cartoon character.

"Anyway, we're going to stand in front of a big dish. Kind of like a birdbath, I guess. And Father. Err the old guy. He's going to talk about God and making sure I bring you up within the faith. You know, making sure you know about Jesus and heaven and God. And I will. As much as Mommy will let me. But see. Your Mommy? She doesn't believe in what I believe in. She thinks that the bible and everything about Jesus is just a myth. That's like a story. You know, like your bedtime stories that I read to you. But it's not. It's important to me. It's like history. It's about faith. That's something I want you to have. Faith in the goodness of people. Faith, that someone is always there, watching over you. Keeping you safe." Booth swallowed, as the thought of Pelant ran through his mind.

He lifted Christine up, his hands under her arms, and stood her on his thighs. She immediately squealed and started bouncing up and down. Booth smiled and kissed her forehead. He loved this little girl so much. He wished Bones was coming with them. But he knew that arguing with her wasn't going to achieve anything, other than drive her further away from accepting the christening. And he didn't want to do that. He wanted Christine to grow up knowing that it was OK for people to believe different things.

Like he believed in God and his creation of the world, Brennan believed in science and the natural evolution of life and man. She would laugh at him when he insisted that Jesus existed. She would tell him that it was fine if he wanted to believe his fairytales, but she didn't want Christine growing up without all the information that she needed to make her own informed decision. So, as they usually did, they agreed to disagree and he could take Christine to church, and she would take her to museums and, when she was old enough to scientific lectures about evolution.

Booth didn't think Christine would ever be old enough for what he considering would be boring snores of lectures with her mother, but she'd love going to church with all the colour, and singing and the stories. He would just nod and shrug his shoulders and go along with her "agree to disagree" rhetoric.

"You know, Christine. Mommy and Daddy. We have kind of dangerous jobs at times. And." He buried his face against her chest and breathed her in. "And right now. Things are not exactly good for us. And I know we've been kind of fighting a little bit. But it's nothing bad. We're good. It's just what mommies and daddies do sometimes when work is a bit difficult. So. You might be spending a bit more time with Grandpa Max. Just while we are working. OK?" he stared into his daughters eyes. So blue, dark thick lashes surrounding them. She stared back at him, then blinked, breaking that moment. He sighed heavily.

"How did I ever survive without you in my world little girl?" he asked her seriously. Christine opened her mouth like she was going to reply, then gurgled at him, her face quite solemn. He smiled and sat her on his knees facing him. One hand holding her body, the other straightening her dress over her white tights. "You look very pretty by the way. Not traditionally dressed for a christening. Better, I think." he said, using a bib to wipe her chin so that she didn't dribble down the front of her clothes. "You'll be the prettiest girl in church" he nodded at her, making her grin and squeal as though she understood him.

Brennan had pulled her hair up into what he assumed was supposed to be a tiny ponytail on the top of her head. He screwed his nose up and looked around before pulling the bow from the tiny wisp of hair and pocketed it. "I hate those things. You're not a lapdog. No. You're not, are you?" he said licking his fingers and flattening down her hair, sweeping it to one side. He tilted his head and smiled "Much better" he said, nodding at his handiwork.

He stood as Brennan came downstairs, lifting Christine to straddle his hip. She was heading into the office for a bit then meeting them with Max later. "I thought I" she started to say. Booth started walking for the door "She pulled it out. She hates those things" he said, winking at his daughter as he grabbed a white knitted shawl to wrap her in while in church. "It gets cold in there sometimes, so we'll need this" he told her as he walked out the door with Bones on his heels still talking about the ribbon that was missing from her daughters hair.

He said his goodbyes to Brennan and strapped Christine into the baby seat in the back of his car and drove to the church. "We won't be there too long. Daddy just has to fill in some paperwork and have a quick talk to the Fath. The priest. And then we'll do the ceremony. It'll be nice, just you and me" he said, looking at Christine in the rear view mirror. Part of him wished they were having a traditional christening ceremony with family and friends. It would have been nice to have photos to look back on with Christine when she was older. _But, it is what it is_ he thought, shrugging. He was simply grateful that Bones had given this to him. And it was enough.

Tomorrow he had made plans to have a photographer come and take professional photo's of Christine dressed in her christening outfit, and of him and Bones with their daughter. To have, as a keepsake. A memory. He knew what frame he was going to put it in too.

He grinned as he pulled into the parking lot of the church. _It's gonna be a great surprise for Bones tomorrow._ he thought as his lifted Christine from her car seat. _A wonderful surprise._


	5. Chapter 5

Booth wasn't sure how long he sat on the steps of the church. _What did it matter? They were gone. Gone. She took his daughter and got in that car and she drove away. And Max. I could have smashed his face into the concrete of the kerb. Helping her. Where the hell are you taking my daughter?_

He didn't remember getting home. He didn't even want to call it home. Home was with her. Her and Christine. He felt like he had no home right now. This was a shell. His home had gone.

* * *

**Day one**

"NO!" his hand swept across the toys sitting on the top of the bookshelf scattering them across the room. "How could you do this to me? She's MY daughter!" his voice cracking as he yelled. He picked up the photograph of them taken the night they brought Christine home and hurled it at the wall. The glass shattered and sent a spray of slivers of silver to the floor, the frame breaking as it hit the skirting board. "WHY? Why didn't you just tell me?" He grabbed at the mobile hanging above her crib and ripped it from it's anchor in the ceiling and stared at it. "Where are you?" he dropped the mobile to the floor and his foot landed squarely on it, crushing it beneath the sole of his shoe.

He fell to his knees, his hands flat on the floor, slowing curling downwards until his forehead was pressed into the rug.

* * *

**Week two**

_time has no meaning_

_hours run into days_

_days into nights_

_how long has it been?_

He sat in the rocking chair, cradling her blanket.

Just like that. Gone.

_Why?_

_Oh God, I miss you. I miss you both. But. You're my little girl. My baby. _

_Sometimes I think I hate you Bones._

The doorbell ringing, finally broke through his grieving.

He stood up and stood at the top of the stairs, willing whoever it was to just leave him alone.

"Booth? Booth. I know you're there. Come on. Open the door, Please? It's been two weeks Booth. You can't ignore me forever."

_Angela. Can the woman not just take a hint and leave me the fuck alone?_

"Fine. I'm leaving you food. OK? Just take it. Eat. It's the least you can do, if you won't talk to me. You can't just starve yourself Booth. That's the last thing Brennan would want."

He waited at the bottom of the stairs until he heard the car door slam shut and the engine start up.

Opening the door, once he was sure the car had gone, he looked down and saw a stack of Tupperware containers.

_I told her I don't want her damned food! And what the fuck does she know about what Bones would want?_ Swinging his foot with as much force as he could, spraying plastic containers and spaghetti down the front path. He slammed the front door shut and turned, sliding down the door until he was sitting with his back against it. His knees bent up, hands wrapped around his shins.

_Where are you? Where the hell are you?_ He cried banging the back of his head against the door.

* * *

**Week three**

Work passed the time during the day slowly. He sat at his desk pushing paperwork around. Doing what he was told. Under sufferance. Enduring a constant barrage of questions about Bones' whereabouts. It took all his strength not to stand up and punch Flynn in the mouth most days.

He wished they would stop asking. Truth was he didn't know where she was. He wished he did. He wouldn't be here if he knew. He'd be with her.

_And his Christine_.

* * *

**Week six**

His moods swung between unadulterated fury and depths of despair. He hardly ate. He rarely slept. Caroline, Angela and the squints were working hard to try to solve this mess. If they could just decipher that code, they would be able to get Pelant. And then Bones could bring his daughter home. If they didn't hurry, he couldn't guarantee what he might do. He could only hold his anger inside for so long. He knew that he had to be careful. Nobody could know they were working on the case. But if they didn't hurry. He was worried he might do something stupid.

_I miss you Christine. Are you OK? I don't understand why your mother did this. I mean, I understand, but I really don't. We could have worked something out together. She shouldn't have taken you away from me. It's like she didn't trust me to protect you. You're my little girl. Of course I would have protected you. With my life. I'd die for you. _

_I'd die for you _ he lay on his bed and buried his face into her blanket, smelling her in it's folds.

* * *

**Week Eight**

He finally had the nerve to re-enter her room. He stared at the carnage he had caused weeks ago. The photo frame caught his eye. Broken. The glass shards scattered on the floor, catching the light. He walked over and bent down retrieving the photograph. It wasn't damaged, amazingly. He stared at the people in the picture.

_They looked happy. They were a family. They were gone now. _

He blinked feeling the wetness of unfallen tears on his lashes and looked around. He began picking up Christine's toys, putting them back where they belonged. He swallowed as he gathered up the broken pieces of the mobile that used to hang over her crib. He aimlessly tried to push a few pieces together, knowing full well it was beyond repair. He looked around, his lips pressed together, blinking rapidly. He didn't want to cry again. He wouldn't.

The room was relatively back to the way it used to be. He had cleaned up the glass and thrown away the broken picture frame and mobile. He took the photo into his bedroom and propped it up against the bedside lamp.

_Come home. Please just come home to me Bones. I love you. I miss you and Christine. Just call me. Let me know where you are. I'll come and get you. I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this._

* * *

**Week Ten**

He was on the bed lying on his back, staring unseeing at the ceiling, Christine's blanket clutched to his chest. He didn't cry any more. He wanted to. But the tears wouldn't come. He'd cried them all. Her scent was fading from the fabric.

_I can't just stay here much longer Christine. I feel like I'm losing you. Like. Maybe I've lost you already. Sometimes. Sometimes I hate your mother. Doing this to me. To you. And then there's Max. There are times when I want to just grab him and snap his neck for helping your mother. Hell, I know he orchestrated this whole thing. He better be taking care of you. Damn him. Damn them both! I just want you home. Home in my arms. You've probably forgotten me already. Christine!_

* * *

**Week Twelve**

_I had a talk with Aunty Angela today. I know she's been communicating with your mother. _

Booth spoke to the photograph of him, Christine and Brennan that now sat on the bedside table in his bedroom. He had replaced the frame last week.

_I can't believe she didn't tell me she'd be keeping in touch with your mother! But I should have known. Dammit! Have hope, she said. HAVE HOPE? It's pretty fucking hard to have hope when I haven't known where the hell you are! Where your mother has been hiding. If you're safe. If she's safe. If she's on the run still with Max. Or just living somewhere. She told me she'd tell your mother that I love you both. But, honey. I'll be seeing you soon and I'll tell you myself. Daddy will be there soon. I know where you are now._

Booth kissed her face and placed the photograph back on the table. He grabbed a bag and started throwing things in it haphazardly. Thank God he had been able to work out what that clue meant. She was calling to him. Reaching out for him. The quicker he was on the road. The quicker he would be with his daughter and Bones. Perhaps his anger would abate once he was there with them.

_He and Bones could work things out together. The way they always did. He just needed to look into her eyes and ask her why she hadn't trusted him enough to tell him. That was her biggest mistake. Not trusting him. Right now, he just needed to get to them and tell Bones he loved her, and hold his daughter. _


	6. Chapter 6

He and Brennan had been home a couple of days. They had been having some teething problems settling back into life together. It was kinda like walking on eggshells. But he figured it was just a temporary thing. He hoped it was.

Today for instance. It all started over her cooking breakfast. He'd offered to do it. It was his thing after all. But she started saying how she made breakfast now. Booth knew that something was off. And she seemed awkward around him. Uncomfortable, almost. He couldn't even kiss her without it feeling weird! Like they were out of synch. That never happened before. He would talk to her tonight after work, he decided.

* * *

Booth sauntered into Christine's day care after work, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Bones had called him and asked if he could pick their daughter up. She had a few things to finish up before she came home. _I just hope she isn't trying to avoid me_ he had thought at the time, but happily agreed. It would give him some time to spend with his baby girl.

He nodded at the woman on duty who waved and called out "Hi Mr Booth. We love having Christine back" He smiled "Thanks, she's loving being back. I'm here to collect her. Her Mom's working late tonight" he said as he crossed the room, walking towards his daughter who was sitting in a crib on the side of the room, squealing. Her chubby arms were waving.

"Hey there pumpkin! Mommy is finishing up some work, so Daddy is taking you home today" He leaned down and slid his hands under her arms, lifting her high up into the air and spinning her around making her laugh in that sweet baby way, that made Booth feel all warm inside. He lowered her to his chest, kissing her chubby cheeks. "Did you have fun today? Daddy had SO much fun at work." he lowered his lips to the top of her head _So much fun _ he thought rolling his eyes.

It hadn't really been a great day. He and Bones had kind of had a fight. Well, not kinda had a fight. They had really fought. He'd tried to tell her that he was feeling shut out. Bones couldn't understand that Booth needed to tell her how he felt. She'd blown up at him, reminding him that they weren't married. He'd never seen her look at him like that. Her eyes were so accusatory and angry. She'd accused him of trying to tell her how to live her life. He really hadn't seen that one coming. He still felt the sting of her words.

* * *

Booth fed Christine and took her upstairs to give her a bath. They played fishies in the bucket, and pour water on Daddy's shoes. He finished putting Christine in her PJ's and sat down in the rocking chair with her.

"I still can't get over how big you are! You've grown so much!" Booth said to his daughter perched on his knees facing him. "You know, when I finally found you and Mommy, that moment was just" Booth swallowed, shaking his head. "It was god sent. I was just so relieved. And, sore. You know, your Mommy has some skills when it comes to martial arts. I can still feel the twinge in my back from that flip" he laughed, remembering that moment when he had tried to grab Bones, not realising who it was that was coming in that door. He also remembered that feeling when he realised who she was, and how every fibre of him was set alight when she smiled at him. Her eyes were so bright.

"You remembered me right? When I came to find you? Mommy said she was showing you pictures of me every day so you didn't forget me. You remembered Dada?" he said as Christine reached out her chubby hands and gurgled. He leaned forwards and she grabbed his nose. Booth smiled, "I knew you wouldn't forget me" he said lifting her up and standing her on his thighs so that her face was opposite his. He kissed her cheeks one after the other.

"Being with you and Mommy again. That was the best feeling in the world Christine. The BEST feeling." Christine started bouncing up and down on her feet, her toes curling into Booth's thigh. "yeah! I wanted to dance too!" he laughed as she giggled and bounced on her chubby legs.

"She hurt me when she took you, you know. Really hurt me. I know that she didn't meant to, but she did. And I understand. But there's a part of me that had trouble forgiving her for doing it. But, I get it now." He pulled Christine close and pressed his face into her neck, breathing in her sweet baby smell. "I'm just glad you're both back home where you belong".

"Your mom is a very clever woman. And, Aunty Angela, Uncle Jack, Aunty Cam, they're all really, really good at their jobs. If it wasn't for them, well, I'm not sure we would be back here, together right now. It's been tough. Really tough. And daddy. Well daddy wasn't the nicest person to be around while you were gone. I was so mad at Aunty Angela when I found out Mommy had contacted her and not me. I have a lot of apologising to do I think." He sat Christine back down on his knees, thinking about how he would tell Angela how sorry he was that he was such an ass.

"You know, Mommy and me, we are kind of feeling a bit awkward at the moment. At least, she is. But we will work things out. We're not mad at each other or anything. She did what she thought was the right thing to keep you and her safe. And I know that it was the right thing, it was." He bit at his bottom lip.

"Mommy was telling me that you spent some time camping? I actually wish she hadn't told me about that. Sleeping outside in the open is not the safest thing. I never want you to do that again. But, it does sound like you and Mommy were doing OK while you were gone. She told me she had a job as a fry cook. Flipping pancakes." he snickered, remembering the offerings of this morning. "I feel pretty bad for her customers. You know, your mom isn't that good at making those. So when you're older and you feel like pancakes for breakfast, you ask me. Deal?" he asked grinning at his daughter's chubby face. "yeah. Deal." He laughed as his daughter clapped her hands.

Booth looked at his daughter. _she's changed so much_. _three months. so much time I'll never get back._ _she couldn't clap hands before_

"And, I'm sorry about your mobile." he said looking at the new one hanging over the bed. "When I came home, that day mommy and you left. I was a little. Upset. I went a little crazy. I'm sorry. I was really sad and scared. But I've got you a new one. I'll try to fix it just like the one Parker made. I kept all the pictures" he shrugged, feeling dreadful about destroying something that his son had made. Christine stared at her father, her eyes solemn. It was like she knew exactly what he was saying.

"OK. Come on now. Time to sleep. And dream about unicorns and fairies and princesses" he lifted her from his lap and stood up, cuddling her close to him, "and carousels, dream about pretty carousels with pretty painted horses. Daddy's going to take you and you're gonna love it. I'll be right there with you." he whispered, remembering Bones' comment about how she hadn't liked them. _She just needed her Daddy to be with her is all_ He lay her down into her crib, leaning down and kissing her forehead. He stroked her cheek. "Nighty night princess" he whispered and turned, walking towards the doorway.

Booth went downstairs and walked over to the breakfast bar and sat on a stool. Pouring himself a drink. He wanted to talk to Bones when she got home. He wanted to tell her that anything she wanted to do was OK with him. That he just wanted her and Christine to be happy. That he wanted them all to be happy. They had apologised to each other earlier in the day. But it wasn't sitting right with him. He wanted to really tell her how he felt and have her tell him how she felt.

Most of all, he just wanted to tell her he loved her and that everything would be alright.


End file.
